Personal Growth Through Storytelling
Personal Growth Through Storytelling
As a researcher, I primarily study the power of writing, innovative work and school cultures, and workplace bullying. As a coach, I combine those passions and expertise as I work with adults and adolescents who are in struggle or negotiating a life change - which has caused them to become tangled in their own storylines. To do that work, together we walk through the following steps, which you can try out on your own.
#1: Tell the Story of Your Current Struggle
All of us have small stumbling blocks and large boulders that fall in our way on our life’s journey. Picking up and examining each rock is overwhelming and cumbersome, yet identifying the storyline of one struggle to turn over and explore can prove liberating. To do this work, simply tell the story of the current struggle you are attempting to negotiate. There are no rules for how to tell your story, so simply write or draw your narrative void of judgment and in a way that makes sense to you. Inside this process, most people discover details and insights that were not available to them before telling their plotlines across the page.
#2 Identify What Was Lost and Needs to Be Grieved
Inside the identified struggle, there is always a number of losses. For example, in workplace abuse, there is often a loss of trust in institutions, people, and the belief in a benevolent world. Once losses are identified, it is essential to grieve those metaphorical deaths. This may look like writing a letter to the woman at work you considered a close friend who betrayed your trust. The act of writing can be cathartic. Then, instead of sending the letter, you can tear it up or burn it - as a symbolic gesture of recognizing, honoring, and releasing the hurt.
#3 Describe the Main Characters
Struggles typically unfold in the context of relationships, whether they be partners, friends, or colleagues. Each person has their own desires and fears that influence how they interact with others. Writing about how characters show up in your story provides new insights into how their way of being in the world impacts your current circumstances. Check out this article for a description of some of the typical characters in workplace bullying narratives.
#4 Draw the Setting
Humans are social animals whose lives unfold in the context of a particular culture. This setting has social norms that influence how members express ideas, interact with various people, and negotiate conflict. Some people find it helpful to illustrate the setting using visuals and text boxes.
#5 Revise the Narrative In A Way That Honors Who You Are
So often inside struggle and/or trauma we spotlight what went wrong, where we fell down, and all of the damage that was done. These narratives are important, true, and deserve their place on the page. However, once you tell that story (see step #1), it is important to locate the places you stood up for justice despite the attacks, the moments you showed compassion even when such kindness was not reciprocated, and the days you remained steadfast in your values even as others displayed the worst versions of themselves. This rewrite invites individuals to locate and honor their fortitude, dignity, and strength.
#6 Write Your Next Chapter
Unlike most therapy, coaching is forward-focused, looking at what we can do next to move us closer to the mountain we want to climb up and then enjoy the view. After reflecting upon your past narratives, now it is time to think big as you write your next chapter. Writing your future has remarkable results, providing you with a road map and personal accountability for where you want to go next.
If you would like to try out this process through coaching, please check out my website (www.dorothysuskind.com) or email me at dorothysuskind@gmail.com.
Two Read
This week I am reading:
Anywhere But Here by Mona Simpson
We Should Not Be Friends’ Review: Their Back Pages by Benjamin Shull
Participate in the Study
To deepen my understanding of the impact of workplace bullying on belonging, I have launched a new research study. If you would like to participate anonymously in this study, please click this LINK. I have my university’s IRB approval to do this work.
Reach Out With Questions and Ideas
I love hearing from readers, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to say hello, ask questions, or suggest topics for me to write about next ~ dorothysuskind@gmail.com.