Imposter Syndrome: Using Writing as a Strategy to Stop Questioning Your Worth
Photo by Kari Shea on Unsplash
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~ Rumi
Rumi said it well. Our little lives dance in the vastness of the universe, a compilation of gifts and sorrows. Sometimes a single event is both. So when this sense of being outside the inside of ourselves crops up and the whisper of “you're not good enough” grows louder, perhaps the best response, as Rumi advises, is to welcome them all in, intrigued by what they have to say.
In 1978, psychologists Clance and Imes published a little paper that grew larger through the decades entitled The Impostor Phenomenon In High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention, documenting those “not good enough” feelings of high performers that result in frustration, anxiety, and depression. According to Clance and Imes, the Imposter Phenomenon, most often referred to today as Imposter Syndrome, originates from two distinct roots: the child raised in the shadows of a precocious sibling and transmitted the message he will never measure up, or conversely, the child praised for her perfection, and thus freezes in fear, anxious a misstep may knock her off that pedestal, devastating those who crowned her queen (Clance, 1985a).
Regardless of the origin, Imposter Syndrome drives us to hide who we are, presenting what Winnicott (2016) referred to as our False Self or the public narrative we think the world wants to witness. For Winnicott, this alternate being, perhaps the first of the big fakes, originated in childhood, when our raucous curiosity was met with disdain by those we counted on to care for us, so we retired our unencumbered joy in trade for behaviors that met the needs of our caregivers. The early life exchange rate was high, resulting in a dual state, living most of our lives behind a mask. At work, this may show up as a reluctance to share opposing or controversial ideas, pretending to like things we don’t, or pursuing professional opportunities solely for the optics, always knee-deep in perception management.
Imposter Syndrome often dances with perfectionism, stifling intellectual risk-taking and squelching curiosity, which stunts authentic growth and leads to a variety of adverse consequences (Pannhausen et al., 2020). Feeling unworthy of our success and unprepared for our position, convinced the fraud police are soon approaching the door, induces stress, anxiety, burnout, detachment, and loss of joy and purpose (Kolligian & Sternberg, 1991; Hutchins et al., 2018).
The strategies we use to deal with the aforementioned angst, either lift us out of the swamp or plunge us deeper into the quicksands of unworthiness. Productive responses include crafting a tight support circle, engaging in positive reframing, making spiritual connections, and enlisting humor. In contrast, responses that continue to sink us encompass self-distraction, self-blame, denial, substance abuse, and disengagement (LaPalme et al., 2022; McDowell et al., 2015).
Contrarily, it is important to note, that others have pushed back on the construct of Imposter Syndrome altogether, noting that the research was founded and grounded primarily by studying affluent women who were attempting to enter a closed workforce despite their high credentialing, citing it is not representative of the story of minoritized individuals who routinely experience being underestimated and undervalued due to structural discrimination. Therefore, they are not navigating feelings of fraud when lauded but instead constantly charged to fight for their worth (Fisher, 2019; Tulshyan & Burey, 2022).
As a college professor, working with pre-service teachers on the precipice of taking on their first, full-time job and graduate students moving from classroom teaching positions to reading specialists, coaches, and interventionists roles - a throughline to our class discussions are the worries of taking it all on or leveling up. As a writer and director of our university’s writing project, during workshops - I use journaling as a tool to explore the underlying anxieties and as a strategy to come out the other side readied and relieved.
Below are six writing exercises we give a go:
To get a baseline, take the Clance Imposter Syndrome Scale (1985b).
As Rumi (2016) encouraged us, take inventory of all of your fears, write them down, and welcome each one as a guest with something to teach.
Travel back to your childhood and find your younger self playing in the yard. Talk to her with the wisdom of the person you are today, providing her with all the things she will need on the journey to the present: the lessons, relationships, education, clothes, car keys, house keys, and the rest of the necessary experiences/items you accumulated in your life’s suitcase. Note and savor all you have acquired through the ages.
Fast-forward to your ninety-year-old self. Where is she? What insights has she garnered through the decades? Now, embody her today. What would she tell you to do next? Now, go do that.
Imagine an empty chair, a concept taken from Gestalt therapy, representative of each part of your opaque, inner workings. You may find fear, curiosity, excitement, and detachment sitting right there in front of you. Question each one.
Now, gather your many selves in the Board Room. Invite your cheerleading self, your critical self, your fearful self, and all the other selves that chatter in your brain throughout the week to have a seat at the conference table. Let them know they are all welcome. Compassionately explain that though you will listen to what each one has to say, you will defer to your WISDOM self, seated at the head of the table, when looking to soothe your worries and guide your next moves. You will notice those other voices calm once they get a chance to speak their peace, and you relax too, realizing you can listen to what each self has to say without going full-throttle into the emotion. Once the Board Meeting concludes, don’t forget to grab the key to the room, so you can reenter any time you are in need of guidance.
In the end, whether we experience Imposter Syndrome as an internal construct or dismiss its existence as external structuralism, I believe there is value in Rumi’s invitation to “be grateful for whoever comes,” because each self has been sent as a guide from beyond holding a history book and a fortune cookie to help write our next chapter.
References
Clance, P. R. (1985a). The Impostor phenomenon. Peachtree. Doi: 10.1037/t11274-000.
Clance, P. R. (1985b). Clance impostor phenomenon scale (CIPS) [Database record]. APA PsycTests.https://doi.org/10.1037/t11274-000.
Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 15(3), 241–247. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0086006.
Fisher, T. D. (2019). The relationship between perceived inclusion and the imposter phenomenon as mediated by work and gender identities in South Africa. (Publication No. 28280582). ProQuest Dissertations Publishing. Doctoral dissertation, University of Johannesburg.
Hutchins, H. M., Penney, L. M., & Sublett, L. W. (2018). What imposters risk at work: Exploring imposter phenomenon, stress coping, and job outcomes. Human Resource Development Quarterly, 29, 31–48. https://doi.org/10.1002/hrdq.21304.
Jalāl al-Dīn Rūmī. (2016). Love is my savior: the Arabic poems of Rumi (; N. Akhtarkhavari & A. A. Lee, Trans.). Michigan State University Press. http://site.ebrary.com/id/11202819
Kolligian, J., Jr, & Sternberg, R. J. (1991). Perceived fraudulence in young adults: Is there an "imposter syndrome"?. Journal of personality assessment, 56(2), 308–326. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327752jpa5602_10.
LaPalme, M., Luo, P., Cipriano, C., & Brackett, M. (2022). Imposter syndrome among pre-service educators and the importance of emotion regulation. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.838575.
Tulshyan, R., & Burey, J.-A. (2022, August 4). Stop telling women they have imposter syndrome. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome.
Winnicott, D. W. (2016). The concept of the false self. In The collected works of D. W. Winnicott: Volume 7, 1964 - 1966. https://doi.org/10.1093/med:psych/9780190271398.003.0001.
Pannhausen, S., Klug, K., & Rohrmann, S. (2020). Never good enough: The relation between the impostor phenomenon and multidimensional perfectionism. Current Psychology, 1-14, 888–901. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-020-00613-7.
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