Gossip in the Workplace: A Short Primer
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
In the coming weeks, we will zoom in on the construct of gossip, examining its definition and impact and exploring strategies for minimizing work conversations that degenerate the character of others. Today, I offer a brief overview of topics we will dive into more deeply over the next month.
What is Gossip?
The definitions of gossip are as numerous as the types of fallout indicative of the side chatter. For our purposes, I will define gossip as the interpersonal exchanges laced with judgment, told to craft a storyline that makes others feel they have the inside story.
Gossip is often used as a social bonder, knitting people together through the sharing of salacious plotlines that denigrates the main character and demotes her social status. Through the crafting and sharing of these narratives, the tellers and receivers achieve a momentary taste of insider status, resulting in a boost to their sense of belonging.
Why Sticky Stories Spread?
My colleague, Dr. Laura Dzuerc (2020), refers to these exchanges as “sticky stories.” In contrast to authentic conversations, where ideas or thoughts are exchanged to deepen a relationship or clarify and share information, sticky stories are purposely constructed to emotionally hook the listener and consciously or unconsciously get her buy-in. Inside these sticky exchanges, the teller attempts to bolster her social status and feelings of belonging, while diminishing the social status and belonging of the story’s star.
The success of a sticky story is not based on its accuracy but on its ability to “win over” the listeners and recruit them to share the story throughout the work community. In this way, gossip serves as a contagion, rapidly spreading throughout the office.
Is Gossip Gendered?
Are men or women more likely to gossip?
The research is mixed. Some research finds little difference in the rates of men and women engaging in gossip. Such studies tend to define gossip more broadly, viewing it as any conversational exchange (positive, negative, or neutral) about a person not partaking in the conversation (Robbin & Karan, 2020). Other research finds women are more likely to engage in gossip, sometimes referred to as relational aggression. For example, Crick’s and & Grotpeter’s (1995) groundbreaking work on relational aggression, defined as covert attempts to damage a person’s group belonging by disparaging her character, finds girls are more likely to use gossip as a social weapon in comparison to boys.
Crick and Grotpeter hypothesize girls' reliance on such tactics is grounded in their propensity to establish relationships through conversations, in contrast to boys, who are more likely to bond over physical activities, like playing sports, or parallel experiences, such as watching a game together in the same room, though not necessarily engaging in deep interpersonal exchanges.
According to this line of thinking, girls’ and women’s social status is determined through interpersonal relationships; hence if a bully wants to damage another girl’s or woman’s group belonging, cutting off her connection to others is an effective and age-old strategy.
Another hypothesis is that girls and women are socialized to be nice, only engaging in prosocial conversations that avoid challenging the status quo, sharing controversial ideas, and engaging in negative critique. Therefore, when a girl or woman becomes angry or frustrated, instead of addressing the issue head-on, which would violate social norms, she engages in covert conversations to speak her truth underground, allowing her to preserve her “good person” status.
In work life, this creates the phenomenon of the “meeting after the meeting,” where during the meeting, conversions are supportive and surface level, and following the meeting, behind closed doors, true feelings are expressed.
Is Gossip Ever Beneficial?
Though some research touts the benefits of gossip, purporting it serves as an underground channel for sharing and enforcing social norms and increasing people’s sense of belonging, I argue gossip overwhelmingly has negative repercussions (Tian, Song, Kwan, & Li, 2019). Over the next month, we will dive into why, covering topics that include:
The role of gossip in the workplace
How gossip impacts employees' sense of belonging
The gendered aspects of gossip
How gossip shapes work cultures
How gossip impacts employees’ satisfaction and retention
How to tackle gossip head on and build a healthy work culture
Work Cited
Crick, N. R., & Grotpeter, J. (1995). Relational aggression, gender, and social‐psychological adjustment. Child Development, 66, 710–722. https://doi.org/10.2307/1131945
Dzurec, L. C. (2020). Examining 'sticky' storytelling and moral claims as the essence of workplace bullying. Nursing Outlook, 68(5), 647–656. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.outlook.2020.05.007
Robbins, M. L., & Karan, A. (2020). Who gossips and how in everyday life? Social Psychological and Personality Science, 11(2), 185–195. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550619837000
Tian, Q.-tao, Song, Y., Kwan, H. K., & Li, X. (2019). Workplace gossip and frontline employees’ proactive service performance. The Service Industries Journal, 39(1), 25–42. https://doi.org/10.1080/02642069.2018.1435642
Two Read
This week I have read:
The Good Mother by Karen Osman
“Three women - all with secrets. Secrets that can no longer be ignored …” ~ Scrib
Awaken to Your True Self by Andrew Daniel
"If you're interested in learning more about how myths live within the body and how our own personal mythology can run us from the unconscious, you'll appreciate Daniel's practical holistic approaches for personal transformation, embodiment, shadow work, healing, mindfulness, and enlightenment." ~ Joseph Campbell Foundation
Participate in the Study
I recently just wrapped up a four-year, Narrative Inquiry study in which I collected the stories of over 200 workplace bullying survivors ranging in age from 18 to 65, spanning 10 countries, 35 states, and representative of 36 industries. In addition, I conducted over 50 follow-up interviews via Zoom (lasting 1-3 hours) with targets of workplace abuse, as well as parents of adult children and partners who have lost their loved ones to suicide as a direct result of workplace bullying. That research will be shared in an upcoming book to be released in July.
One of my primary findings is that the devastating fallout of workplace abuse can largely be attributed to the loss of the target’s belonging to her work community and her sense of belonging to herself, a fallout of the character assassination. Consequently, this revocation of belonging leads to significant and long-term consequences, including but not limited to job loss, gastrointestinal issues, high blood pressure, heart trouble, anxiety, depression, complex PTSD, and at times suicide.
To deepen my understanding of the impact of workplace bullying on belonging, I have launched a follow-up study. If you would like to participate anonymously in this study, please click this LINK. I have my university’s IRB approval to do this work.
Reach Out With Questions and Ideas
I love hearing from readers, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to say hello, ask questions, or tell me what you would like for me to write about next ~ dorothysuskind@gmail.com